Yesterday I received an email from dailyhadith.adaptivesolutionsinc.com. It was about Shaytan’s greatest pleasure. Here it is below:
The Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) said that Shaytaan sits on his throne daily and dispatches his agents to work among human beings. One of the agents returns and says that he made a certain person commit a sin, and another says that he got so and so involved in this offence. Upon listening to all this, Shaytaan says, “You have done nothing great.”
Eventually, one representative comes and says, “I saw a husband and wife extremely devoted to each other. I sowed the seeds of enmity between them.” On hearing this, Shaytaan becomes happy and embracing his agent says,
“You have indeed achieved something great.” [Recorded in Mishkat Al-Masabih]
The love between a husband and wife is the biggest blow to Shaytaan. From this it is apparent how meritorious this love is. The Islamic prescription for success in married life is based on Taqwa, which is fear, love, and consciousness of Allah. Taqwa — the basis for all aspects of Islamic life — is especially relevant to the household. That is why Sura Nisa, which contains many commands regarding the rights and responsibilities of spouses, begins with repeated reminders of Taqwa.
To fight Shaytaan, one needs Allah’s help and it comes with Taqwa, i.e. living with the awareness that Allah is watching us and will hold us accountable for our actions. A direct and far reaching consequence of this awareness is that a fight for rights is replaced by a concern for responsibilities. One’s responsibilities are other’s rights. A Muslim husband and wife will be concerned with discharging their duties toward each other. This provides for a home that is a model of peace, love and harmony.
Here are some more quick tips to guard and improve one’s marriage:
1.) Recite Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan’s favorite duaa in the Quran (a title of a moving youtube video), which is found in Surah 25, Al-Furqan, verse 74: “Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous.”
2.) Try a lovely practice coined by Megan Wyatt, founder of WivesofJannah.com, called “Fearless Vulnerability”. This means that you tell your spouse exactly what you are thinking, rather than remaining a mystery to him/her. Of course, try to be polite. You can use “fearless vulnerability” for praising your spouse as well!
3.) Another idea is to express your mixed feelings to your spouse. Sometimes spouses avoid communicating about issues because they are not really sure about where they stand on an issue; i.e. they have mixed feelings/are ambivalent. Why not express your mixed, uncertain feelings to your spouse in a spirit of consultation/seeing what he/she thinks?
4.) Another marriage tip is to try to uncover the deeper issues in your marriage, such as not feeling respected, or not feeling appreciated, i.e. the “real” problems in your marriage (because most recognized problems are just surface issues).
For many people, the challenges of marriage are often the most difficult challenges of life. Just remember that you are not alone! Keep praying and trusting in Allah’s mercy and wisdom.