1. Sincerely try to be a good Muslim, knowing that you can’t be perfect and knowing in your heart that Allah (swt) is extremely Merciful and does not want us to suffer. Allah wants us to learn from our experiences and He wants us to succeed. If you doubt these points then please reflect on the following verses in the Holy Quran:
a. “Allah does not want to place you in difficulty, but He wants to purify you, and to complete His favor upon you, that you may be grateful.” (end of Quranic verse 5:6)
b. “Allah wants to accept your repentance…” (4:27)
c. “Allah intends for you ease, and He does not want to make things difficult for you.” (middle of verse 2:185)
d. Verse 40:60 explains that the reason for our growth in this life is for us to learn to use our intelligence/reason: “ It is He Who has created you from dust; then from a sperm-drop; then from a leech-like clot; then does he get you out as a child; then lets you (grow and) reach your age of full strength; then lets you become old,- though of you there are some who die before;- and lets you reach a Term appointed; in order that you may use your reason.
2. Make a strong decision that you will choose to focus on the positive blessings in your life; i.e. what you appreciate. (A great tool for this is a “gratitude list” in which you write a list of things that you are genuinely grateful for and then read this list every day with your heart, adding to the list regularly).
3. View life’s hardships as valuable experiences that you can learn and grow from.
4. Develop various coping strategies that you can use when you are feeling down (such as talking to a caring person, taking a walk, sipping hot tea, etc).
5. Train yourself to be patient when you cannot think of a solution to a problem. “When in doubt, stick it out.” When you do think of a solution, then please implement it! Also, train yourself to be patient with yourself. We are all growing!
6. Take responsibility for your feelings and actions rather than blaming other people or situations.
7. Don’t allow “small stuff” to ruin your day and your life.
8. Learn to focus on what you want rather than focusing on what you do not want or what you fear. Then, when you focus on what you want, please take actions that prove you actually
want that. (Examples: you want to lose weight—so start exercising; you want to get a new job—so start sending your resume out, etc.)
9. Learn how to deal with other people in a way that benefits you and them.
10. Feel healthy and in shape (a continuous process–but the point is to work towards this goal).
11. Stop complaining and talking about what you do not like/want. (This is actually easier said than done! You need to start listening to yourself!)
12. Replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts (that you genuinely believe).
13. Use your wisdom to solve problems. (Definition of Wisdom: the quality of having experience, knowledge, and good judgment; common sense).
14. Treat yourself like you are your own best friend; i.e. support and encourage yourself, and want happiness for yourself.